Thank you to Dove for partnering with me on this post. And thank you to K. Olis Photography for the photographs. SHOP THE POST: Top is 40% off // Tie-Bottom Jogger Pants // Leyton’s Star Pajamas
In honor of this week being Mother’s Day, I’ve got lots of helpful mom content this week whether it be about mom shaming, Mother’s Day gift guides, or for today’s post a bit of an insight into motherhood reality vs what Instagram or idealism looks like.
I remember before having kids thinking how stay-at-home moms must have it made. I thought, “What do they do all day?” and truly believed they enjoyed workouts, Starbucks, and Bible studies all day at leisure. HA, so so so wrong.
Perhaps, part of this thought process was because social media always shows the most glamorous side of someone’s life. Of course moms aren’t sharing when they’re covered in spit up, poop, cleaning a dirty diaper or watching toddlers melt down. Who has time to grab a phone during those melt downs even if you wanted to show the chaos?
Today, I’m going to walk you through 3 scenarios of how I dream of my days playing out vs what they normally play out as. Only about 10% of the time do we actually get that “dream life” scenario with our kids, am I right, mamas?!
MOTHERHOOD EXPECTATION VS REALITY
MOTHERHOOD EXPECTATION: In my head, I envision a nice soak during nap time because hey, I’m pregnant and for once I’m not drowning in work deadlines that needs to be done like yesterday. I think of getting out a bath bomb, reading my book, lighting a candle, maybe even exfoliating and tanning if I have the time.
REALITY: I forget that I have an event that Leyton and I are supposed to be at that night, Leyton gets filthy out playing or some other unforeseen chaos ensues that entails me skipping getting to bathe alone, having to get Leyton in the shower or tub with me, listening to him scream his head off about not wanting to get in the big tub or shower, making a huge mess in the bathroom, spending time cleaning it up, and then actually running late to whatever said event is. Nerves are frayed for the rest of the day, Leyton is fussy because his nap got cut short and God forbid I couldn’t find the right colored bath toy so he couldn’t play with the one he wanted as he hollers, “Want green one, want green one” the whole bath time.
MOTHERHOOD EXPECTATION: Leyton and I will have a magical mommy and me workout like the moms on Instagram show. He laughs as I do squats with him and toss him in the air. We’ll have a bonding mommy and son experience while I also get a workout in, WIN WIN! Leyton will frolic with his toys next to me and listen to the birds signing as I have a zen-like yoga cool down session.
REALITY: Even though Leyton starts out excited to go outside, for some unknown toddler brain reason he now decides he wants to go in and out and in and out of the house without the door shut to let bugs fly in at will. When I go to pick him up for weighted workout/play time, he bursts into tears screaming “I do it, I do it” at me while simultaneously trying to wriggle out of my arms. After I’ve only been working out for 10 minutes, I smell something a little rank steaming from his diaper. He’s blown out his diaper, workout pauses and we go change his diaper, clean up his clothes, change outfits, get 14 different trucks along the way and walk as slowly as possible back outside because toddlers never want to rush when you do to keep your heart rate up or to get anywhere on time. We both end up in a sweaty, hot, tearful mess.
PHOTO SHOOT DAYS
MOTHERHOOD EXPECTATION: We will have a beautiful, slightly overcast day to provide the perfect lighting for our mommy and me photo shoot for blog content this month. All our outfits will be pre-selected, laid out, steamed, coordinated, and my makeup and hair will be done. Leyton will be bathed, hair tamed, fed, not sleepy and ready to flash a perfect pearly smile.
Reality: We wake up early to get a workout in before it’s time to shower and get ready for photo shoot. Leyton wakes up on the wrong side of the bed, is fussy, refuses to eat anything but “fruit snacks” that he begs for incessantly. We miss the workout and I have to drag him into the bathroom with me and “just one toy” that turns into 5 while I attempt to shower, shave, pick out outfits, tame my hair and do my makeup.
The whole bathroom gets destroyed during this process because Leyton is emptying drawers, pulling out my dirty laundry, throwing my jewelry I’ve set out for the shoot everywhere and then I know later Eric will ask why my closet looks like it threw up all over our bedroom and bathroom.
The photographer gets there as I’m still standing in my robe, no outfits picked out for the shoot, Leyton is still in his play clothes and I don’t have time to do my hair. I throw my hair in a top knot, scramble to pick out and outfit and realize one of the brands’ I’m shooting for’s products never arrived in the mail so now I’ll have to schedule another shoot a whole other day later in the week. ARGH!
We begin to haphazardly shoot as I try to keep the photo shoot to just one hour, and I’m running from the back bedroom to change, to Leyton’s room to change him, posing outside and sweating, trying to wrangle Leyton to be still for a photo. He screams, “No” and doesn’t want any pictures taken. Many times I just let him skip the whole photo shoot because it’s such a nightmare. Of course none of my clothes got steamed, no outfits are picked out, clothes are strewn from one end of the house to the other amidst products we shot, and all kinds of toddler messes in between.
Once the photo shoot wraps, I realize one of the outfits I was supposed to shoot is of course NOW being delivered by UPS and have to go tackle the TORNADO of a house that has been left in the photography wake. Time to schedule another photo shoot now that said products have arrived just a few hours too late.
Can anyone else relate to this Motherhood Expectation vs Reality topic?! HAHAHAHA. I know you all can. Bless us!
If you know a mama who has days like this, maybe treat her and your own mom who had these days WITH YOU to a care basket to help her feel pampered. If you’re a mom, even though you know this is usually our reality, it’s hard to beat the 10% of the time it does go our way. Those babies’ sweet smiles and laughter can turn your whole heart into a giant smile despite the fact that you’re standing there in a messy house, no makeup on and covered in the latest bodily fluid your baby has thrown out all over you.
Rug: Lorena Canals // Leyton’s star pajamas: nununu
(Note stinker face. “You want me to smile, mom?! Here’s what I think about that.”)
Thank you to Dove for partnering with me on today’s post. They have some perfect products that you can round up in a gift basket to treat a mama you love OR yourself! Don’t miss getting your Dove products you love this week at Target with a special discount in the Cartwheel app!
You’ll notice we’ve been trying out their new Baby Dove Rich Moisture Tip to Toe wash and by the size of this bottle I think it may last past when new baby gets here so Leyton can share with him. 🙂 This soap is as gentle as water and ophthalmologist, dermatologist, and pediatrician-tested, you can trust this tear-free and hypoallergenic baby wash. It is created without dyes, parabens or phthalates.
Shop the post here:
Oh man if this isn’t the truth! I pictured myself getting up before my kids and working out, showering and being ready for the day all before they woke up. Because in my imagination they would sleep until 9. ??? and then we would go shopping or to lunch and play with friends every single day. I guess maybe I thought I’d have a maid and a chef who came in daily. Haha
Also, I read your breastfeeding post, and no judgment here! I was going to suggest you look into lactation link on Instagram before you have your next baby. She has amazing online classes and she’s so knowledgeable even for 2nd time breastfeeding and so on. She even has a free basics guide as well. And she’s the nicest! And if you don’t plant to breastfeed this go around, NO JUDGMENT HERE!
So so true!!! My goodness! At work the other day someone suggested after I have my baby I met up for a team event while I am on leave because in thier words “I’ll just be sitting at home anyway” and “won’t I need a break, just call someone to watch my baby” really!? It annoyed me because they think maternity leave is a vacation! I went off saying yeah in between feelings and cleaning and diapers and pumping every 2 hours I’ll be sure to come to your event! Oh and yes I’d love a break or a NAP! Lol. And sure I can just “call someone” to watch my baby. Um you can’t jusr call someone- not everyone has family or a nanny at thier disposal lol. Lordy! And if I did I sure wouldn’t want to spend my break with work! Haha I want a nap or a pedicure alone! Haha or a trip to target!! ??